India: Interfaith couples suffer amid a growing religious divide

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A jewelry advertisement in India showing a Hindu woman married into a Muslim family led to a fierce backlash from right-wing groups. But what is it like for a real interfaith couple amid rising intolerance?

Sadaf has not had a proper conversation with her father for about three years now. He just wouldn’t talk to her. That is the price she had to pay for choosing to marry a non-Muslim. The New Delhi-based lawyer still visits her parents’ home in the northern Indian city of Lucknow, in the hope that her father will eventually come around and accept her Hindu husband.

Interfaith marriages are often contentious in Indian society, especially when it involves a Hindu and a Muslim. This was recently seen when a jewelry advertisement featuring an interfaith couple sparked an outrage so intense that the brand, owned by one of the largest conglomerates in India, withdrew the ad.

The jewelry brand said in a statement that its decision to take down the ad was made “keeping in mind the hurt sentiments and the well-being of our employees, partners, and store staff.”

The controversy — not the first of its kind — once again brought into question the tolerance and acceptability of interfaith marriages in a country where religious tensions have been on the rise in recent years.

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Women face the brunt of the backlash

Sadaf married her colleague and fellow lawyer, Yatin, in February 2018. But the months preceding their wedding weren’t easy for either of them.

“It was particularly difficult from my side,” Sadaf said. “It’s always more difficult for the woman’s family to come around,” she said.

Marriages in India’s patriarchal system see women as being “given away” by their families. “Most families are reluctant to ‘give away’ their daughter into a faith they do not understand,” Sadaf told DW.

While this wasn’t something Yatin had to worry about, he faced challenges of his own. “My family went into absolute shock when I first told them about Sadaf,” he said.

“In fact, my mother had casually told me sometime earlier that they would accept whomever I wanted to marry, except a Muslim,” Yatin said.

After several months of persuasion, his family finally agreed. But he admits that in interfaith marriages, the brunt of the backlash is often faced by women.

“If it were my sister who wanted to get married to a Muslim guy, I don’t think my parents would have agreed to it,” he said. “The woman’s side often gets very aggressive too.”

Fortunately for Sadaf, the reaction from her community was limited to a social boycott.

Only her mother, who was quite supportive from the start, and her brother attended the wedding. Sadaf’s father refused to be part of the ceremony.

Read more: Javed Akhtar on communal tensions: ‘Indian Muslims also have to criticize themselves’

‘Love jihad’

Unlike many inter-religious couples in India, Sadaf and Yatin had a lot going for them. They both came from educated families that were not prone to violence, lived in urban centers, and were financially independent. But most importantly, Yatin was a Hindu.

“Had Yatin been a Muslim, and I a Hindu, our marriage would have been called ‘love jihad,'” Sadaf said.

Source- dw.com

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Neeraj Nanda

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